No one is Ever Told What Would Have Happened

 

Basically, I think everyone understands that feeling of frustration and overwhelmed emotions that come with the realization that nothing makes sense. Something I’ve been feeling and dealing with lately is that nothing makes sense whatsoever, and shows no signs of changing anytime soon. I don’t know if it’s the fact that I’m graduating college in a few short months without any real life plan or life skills, or that I’m about to turn 23, which is a terrifying number, or the fact that I just finished watching Breaking Bad and now my big question is WHAT IS LYFE?! I mean…. Walt didn’t even have his crap together by the end of that and how am I supposed to move on after that series finale?

I recently had an incredibly depressing conversation with a friend who shall remain anonymous. This conversation made me realize that I have to make decisions in life. When I come to that fork in the road, I have to make a choice. I can stand there forever, wishing that fork was some other more circular utensil, but the fact of the matter is, it is a fork and I have to deal with that reality.

The fact that major life decisions are rapidly approaching my doorstep is mildly horrifying. You think once you get into college that everything will eventually fall into place: the right major will show up, you’ll meet your significant other, you’ll get a sweet internship, you’ll go to some awesome parties with your awesome friends and it will be the time of your life. I’m just glad I realized sooner rather than later that this is all a pretty picture that the schools paint for you so that you will choose them to give your money too. But no matter how green and shiny that great lawn is, your life is still going to make no sense at the end of the day.

I guess the best advice I can really give myself and anyone else out there who is struggling with the same emotions is just do something. No matter how terrifying it may seem, you HAVE to make choices, so just do it and have faith that things will eventually be less horrifying somewhere down the road. If all else fails, you can always turn to hard drugs, like Walt.

And I suppose, in the end, you can’t spend time looking back and asking, what if? As Aslan says to Lucy in C.S. Lewis’ The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, “no one is ever told what would have happened”. That quote has always stuck with me since I was a little kid. No one is ever told what would have happened, and there must be a reason for that.

As John O’Callaghan once said, “The what-ifs and the should-haves will eat your brain”.

And as God once said “I am with you always. Even to the end of the age”.