To Olivia, a Few Days Late

Today I’ve decided to talk about friendships, and about one in particular, since it is this human’s birthday today. This human’s name is Olivia. And I just looked up the meaning of her name, and it’s pretty boring and obvious, so I’m just going to make one up instead, aight?

Olivia ­ proper noun: an inexplicably complex human being with ethereal good looks and a love of K­pop.

I feel like that sums it up nicely.

I’d like to tell you the story of myself and Olivia. I find it amusing, and you will too,because I’m going to tell it awesomely.
I think I knew Olivia all through my childhood, because we hung out with the same people and were both homeschooled and went to the same piano recitals etc. etc. I always thought she was like 5 years younger than me because she’s positively tiny, and therefore totally beneath my notice.

But then we went to the same birthday party, a party at which our true natures would be revealed. And nobody liked what they saw. Except for us. Which was all that mattered.

I think the turning point in the story came when Olivia, whilst playing a really gripping game of Balderdash, defined a Tinschel (probably not even a real word) as: a mustache so large that it can be seen from behind a person’s head.

Mind. Blown.

Up until that moment, I had been doodling on my pants, but I snapped to attention, boy, I probably had whiplash after that. Because I had suddenly realized that this person sitting beside me in a Snoopy tshirt and rip off chucks was the single coolest being I’d ever
laid eyes on.

My suspicions were only confirmed when she dyed her hair pink half a year later.

So we went to the mall, and discussed vloggers and social anxiety and drank a frappechino and panicked about whose straw was whose and that was the beginning of what may be the most wonderful and totally creepy friendship of all time ever.

Basically, I’ve always wanted to tell the world how wonderful Olivia is, not only because I think maybe not everybody appreciates that fact quite as much as they should, but because sometimes I think I might explode from the feels if I don’t let them out.

Olivia is as constant as the northern star. Olivia is freakishly talented and yet able to boost your confidence through her own talent. Olivia is ambitious and honest. She’s like the perfect combination of Slytherin and Gryffindore. She’s Snape, if Snape were super hawt and had better fashion sense.

Thank you, Olivia, for being around. Yer the best.